Ties That Bind
by Nighteyes27
Summary: Mother Askani ponders her role in life-and one very special friend.


Ties That Bind  
  
Rating: R for f/f relationship pondered and semi-explicit m/f sex.  
  
Summary: Mother Askani reflects on her past-and the relationship she had with one, very special girl.  
  
Disclaimer: No one in this fic belongs to me. Blaquesmith, Kitty 'Shadowcat' Pryde, Nathan 'Cable' Summers, Kurt 'Nightcrawler' Wagner, Meggan, Brian 'Captain Britain' Braddock, Lockheed, Pete Wisdom, Tanya 'Sanctity' Trask and Rachel 'Mother Askani/Phoenix' Summers belong to Marvel. I'm making no money on this, no copyright infringement intended.  
  
Author's Note: This could tie into either of my story arcs. It's not necessary to read those, but this could stand alone or be read as an addition. it started out as a very short story-but grew into something more.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The Mother Askani stretched. Sweeping her telepathic probes lightly across the Askani perimeter and base, she was surprised and relieved to find no trouble. Most were sleeping-as she had been until a few moments ago. It was the middle of the night, after all.  
'So what woke you up, Ray?' she asked herself. The use of the nickname 'Ray' stung for a second-she still missed Jean, Scott, Nathan, and her Excalibur friends a lot-especially one Excalibur member.  
'I wonder if it's her?....' Rachel's thought trailed off. 'There's no reason to assume it *is* her, Rachel Anne Summers. You should know better. You're separated by centuries. Still....'  
She mentally cursed as she rolled out of bed. 'No use trying to go to sleep now,' the Mother Askani thought to herself in disgust. 'Not going to.'  
"Mother?" the quiet voice asked. She turned around, unsurprised, to find Blaquesmith sticking his head through the door.  
She smiled faintly. Ever since the day she, now a middle-aged woman, had found the tiny boy scavenging in the cities of Apocalypse and his lapdogs about twenty years ago, she had felt a connection to him and had raised and trained him. She knew him well, and vice versa. 'He is ever my loyal retainer,' she thought fondly, then grew sad. 'But he deserves so much more than what he has.'  
"How many times have I told you, 'Smith, to call me Rachel or Ray?" she asked, smiling lightly to take any possible sting out of her words.  
He flushed slightly. "I apologize, Mo-er, Rachel. I am simply not sue to-"  
"It's all right, 'Smith. Go back to sleep-or guarding my door," she amended, noticing the slightly sheepish expression that had been on his face. "Although," she teased, "even ultra-loyal warriors and friends need to sleep."  
She noticed the slight flush those words provoked and internally grieved. She had suspected that he had had a slight crush on her for a while, but knew it was never to be.  
"Go, my friend," she said, reaching out and gently touching his arm. Suddenly, she felt a flash of....  
FLASH! "blaquesmithineedsomethingthatwillpreventtheUndyingfrommoving," 'Cable?' she managed to think hazily. FLASH! "helpme!helpme!" 'Blaquesmith? Why is he there?' "helpyourself,dayspring.ifyoucannotdothisthanyoucannotpossiblyhopetodefeatStryfe." FLASH! "forever?forever." FLASH! "idonotapproveofthisdomino,dayspring.sheisaliabilitytoyourmission,andyoucannot affordtocareabotusomeoneasyoucaredfor-""iwilljudgethosethings,oldman.dominowillcomeandbeintroducedtoyou,andyouwillact civilly." FLASH! "iamsosorryMotherAskani-Rachel-ifailedyouandimsorrybutiwilltraintheboy,hurthimifnecessary,foryourdreambecauseitisallanditisnecessary-"  
RACHEL! Blaquesmith's horrified mental call dragged the Mother Askani back to the present. Choking, she let go of Blaquesmith. "Rachel?" he asked, this time verbally. "I'm fine, 'Smith."  
"Anything I can do to help?" he asked hopefully. But Rachel remembered the chilling visions she had had of him and some deep instinct recoiled at the thought of being near him now.  
"Go," she said, not realizing how harsh it sounded. "Just...go."  
His shoulders slumped. He turned to go. "'Smith?" He turned back. "When I am gone, don't let it eat at you. Don't let that inner goodness burn out."  
"I shall try, Mother Askani," the formality of his tone hurt, but she knew he had good reason to be snippy-he was hurt by her not explaining to him her mysterious vision. He walked out and the door boomed behind him.  
'I'm sure that symbolizes something,' Rachel thought bitterly. 'But what *was* that? I've never been a precog, and that looked to be something of a precognitive vision, at least from what I'm told.'  
'Well,' she reasoned, 'what is, is. Everything will sort itself out in time.' Now, back to her rude awakening and the object of her thoughts-and more, if she was honest with herself.  
Rachel wondered if Kitty had known the extent of her feelings for the girl. Rachel had grown to be best friends with Kitty-but it had developed, at least on her side, into something more.  
And *that* was why she couldn't care about Blaquesmith in *that* way. That was why her few bed partners since coming to this time had been casual affairs, more often than not one-night stands. Because she couldn't love someone when she was in love with someone else.  
'Tanya asked that,' she remembered, thinking of her estranged, twisted friend half a world and an entire galaxy away. 'She asked me why it couldn't be more-why it couldn't be real,' Rachel remembered the encounter, the start of the estranging and distancing between the formerly close women and sighed. 'I think she knew it was someone else...and perhaps it's why she is both my biggest mainstay in the Askani and my most radical political opponent. The Trasks were ever volatile and arrogant, and none take rejection well.'  
'But Kitty...' Rachel sighed. She had been head over heels for Kitty-discreetly, of course-when she had switched places with Captain Britain. 'That's why I always fended men off-the camps had put me off men, and I was in love with Kitty.'  
'I wonder who knew?' she considered for a moment. 'Meggan, probably She always made it a point to try and make Kitty and I do something together. Kurt was always giving us sideways looks-perhaps he suspected, but then again, he knew it was our business.'  
'I wonder if Kitty suspected? We were always careful to be "just friends"...but there were a couple of times, when we were alone, I would have sworn that she was holding something back.'  
'Kitty...' her mind wandered off on a tangent. She got up and pulled out a drawer of her dresser. Inside were three faded photos. One was off Scott and Jean in her timeline. One was her adopted timeline's Scott and Jean on their wedding day. And the third was of the original members of Excalibur in their costumes-she, Nightcrawler, Lockheed, Captain Britain, Meggan, and Shadowcat.  
'Oh, Kitty...' her eyes traveled up the flight boots, over the loose pants draped around muscular legs, up the vest and shirt concealing a strong set of ab muscles, the vest billowing out at the breasts, up to Kitty's face. Brown eyes and brown hair the exact same shade were set on a pale face and red lips, which were smiling exuberantly. 'We could have been so much more....' Rachel thought wistfully. 'She was beautiful (even is she didn't think so!), smart, intelligent, witty, caring, sexy. God, I loved her. I wanted to pick her up, fly her to a remote wood, take her, make love to her, love her, be with her for the rest of our mutual lives, share her with no one else. It was selfish, I knew. But after the close calls she had, I almost *did* make her forcibly retire.'  
'You've seen others with those attributes-Tanya, among others. What makes her so special, and why can't you let her go?' Rachel asked herself. As always, she came up with the same answer. 'Because she's...Kitty.'  
Blaquesmith rapped on her door. "Mother Askani?" he called tentatively. Rachel put the picture back in the dresser drawer, shut it, and answered. "Yes?"  
"Your standing orders are to wake you up at this time of day," he returned. Rachel sent one, last loving thought of Kitty up to the heavens, then banished her former life from her mind. "Quite. Just let me get dressed, old friend...."  
*********  
Pete Wisdom was kissing her in a *very* nice way, Kitty realized smugly. 'And we're about to do it, and I *want* it.'  
And events kept going. And even after they had told each other of their mutual love and devotion, and as Pete eased himself into her, capturing her virginity and breaking her maidenhead, causing her to delight-  
Even then, at that critical moment?   
Kitty saw Rachel.


End file.
